Picture of man with wild hair and freaky sunglasses

The 25 Man Rules

Seven years ago, I joined Facebook. One of the first things shared with me were “The Man Rules” by an old friend from high school. I found it so funny, I have kept a copy of it ever since. I thought the guys may get a kick out of the man rules and we, as women, will let you have your say; however, that doesn’t mean you are right, LOL!! I hope you enjoy the 25 Man Rules:

We always hear “the rules” from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.

Please note that they are all numbered 1. We did this ON PURPOSE!

 

The Man Rules

 

  1. Men are NOT mind readers.

 

  1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

 

the man rules sports

 

  1. Sunday sports – It’s like the full moon or the changing or the tides. Let it be.

 

  1. Crying is blackmail.

 

  1. Ask for you what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

 

YES OR NO THE MAN RULES

 

  1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

 

  1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

 

  1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

 

  1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.

 

THE MAN RULES ANGRY OR SAD

 

  1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of those ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

 

  1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

 

THE MAN RULES TV

 

  1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

 

  1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

 

THE MAN RULES COLOR AND FRUIT

 

  1. ALL men see in only 16 colors like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

 

  1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

 

  1. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing” we will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you’re lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

 

  1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.

 

THE MAN RULES CLOTHES

 

  1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine….REALLY!

 

  1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or golf.

 

  1. You have enough clothes

 

THE MAN RULES SHOES

 

  1. You have too many shoes.

 

  1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape.

 

  1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight.

 

  1. But did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping.

 

To all my male friends – THIS LIST IS FOR YOU!!

 

Regards,

~ Holley Jacobs

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